Survivor Satire

There are so many great quotes, so I'll just give the ones that come to my head and add more as I watch more movies.

1. "I came here to do two things.  Drink some beer and kick some ass!  It looks like I'm out of beer."  Dazed and Confused
2. "Who owns this shithole?  You fatman, speak!"  The Unforgiven
3. "Corn?  I didn't eat any corn!"   Fat Bastard in The Spy Who Shagged Me
4. "He's as worthless as a poopy flavored lollypop."  Patches O'Houlihan in Dodgeball
5. "Beer tastes so good when it hits your lips."  Frank the Tank in Old School
6. "You'll get no sympathy from me.  If you want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.  That's where you'll find sympathy."   Major Payne
7. "They say you can tell what a woman will look like by looking at her mother.  Well I'ma lookin', and I'm a likin' "  Gaylord Focker in Meet the Fockers
8. "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life."  Animal House
9. "Rule 37: Suck it up, no excuses, play like a champion!"  Wedding Crashers
10. "Swan, Is there any reason why there should be an absurdly dressed half-naked man chained to a fence being tossed off by an old blind council worker?"  Ali G In Da House
11. "Mr. Madison, What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.  At no point in you rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.  Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.  I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul."  from Billy Madison

I decided to add my favorite movies to this page because I have the ability to do it.

Favorite Comedy:  Tommy Boy  I've watched this movie so many times, and I never stop laughing.  Chris Farley and David Spade in a movie together was comic genius.  Another good one with them together was Black Sheep.  When they get pulled over for speeding is one of my all time favorite funny scenes.

Favorite Action:  Raiders of the Lost Ark  I reluctantly went to see this as a kid because it looked like a western, but since then I've watched it over 40 times.  A classic that will never get old.  I might watch it tonight.  The bull whip was an inspiration for my classroom discipline.

Favorite War Movie:  Saving Private Ryan  After watching this, you will salute every veteran you see.  I tried to enlist so that I could kick some German ass, but apparently that war is over.

Favorite Drama:  A Few Good Men  This is a great courtroom drama about the Marine Corps.  Semper Fi.  If you can look past Tom Cruise being a Scientology freak, this was the movie that made me realize he can actually act. 

Favorite Western:  Unforgiven  I think this was Clint Eastwood's last western, and my favorite.  The whores are paying a bounty for some bad guys that did some naughty things.  They give advances on the bounty by way of...well, use your imagination.  How can you go wrong with this kind of story line?

Favorite Romantic Comedy:  You've got to be kidding!  My idea of a romantic comedy is having some dogs hump at some point during a normal comedy.  That's all the romance I need to see.  If I was to pick one, I'd have to say The Waterboy because Vicky Valencourt showed the Waterboy her boobies, and he likes those.