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These are a Few of My Least Favorite Things
I wrote this song for my resignation party. It's a keeper. A friend of mine says she keeps a copy on her refrigerator and reads it when ever things are tough. I guess that means every day. Make sure you sing it with the melody from These are a Few of My Favorite Things. It will be more fun! If you sing it out loud, your boss might think you're insane and send you on a paid vacation. You'll have me to thank, so don't forget about me when you're packing for the Bahamas.
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Phone calls with parents who want to make changes, Low to high math groups and homeroom exchanges Filling my grade book with gobbledygook, Stealing my money, that P.F.A. crook. Monthly staff meetings at eight in the morning, Union and District meetings are boring. Dismissal phone calls, Official word wall, Projector bulbs that I have to install. Lesson plan writing that I never teach from, Achievement and IQ Tests make all our brains numb. Senior High half days, and teacher surveys, Bulletin boards and the science displays. Lazy GOAL students and unpaid bus duties, Sneezing and barfing kids give us their cooties. I really get pissed, with aides who insist, Recess is inside because of light mist. Bench marks, report cards, and a constant tattletale, Baselines and deadlines and sorting through email, Gentle reminders for this and for that, Golden tents tell us meet Craig for a chat. Second grade kids work on PSSA Practice. Wasting class time makes me feel like a jackass. Kids get all dizzy and cross-eyed by noon, For most things that are forgotten by June. Act 48 Hours and Time Option bullshit, I never kept track, I have to admit it. Other things were more important to me, Like watching March Madness on my classroom T.V. When the mom’s bitch, when the kids whine, When I’m thinking stay, I simply remember I want to resign, And avoid one more Field Day.
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