Survivor Satire

The Fusion of Reality Television and Offensive Sarcasm

Home Page

Survivor Farewell

Survivor Archives

Thailand

Amazon

Pearl Islands

All-Stars

Vanuatu

Palau

Guatemala

Exile Island

Cook Islands

Fiji Islands

China

Micronesia

Academy Awards 2005?

Tim's Top Ten Lists

Laws According to Me:

Men Can Dance If:

How I Control the Weather:

Marital Advice:

Parenting Advice:

Things to Ponder:

People Should:

Funniest Things My Kid Said:

Things I Will Never Do

Personal Favorites

My Favorite Thing To Do:

Favorite Position:

Favorite Teaching Stories:

Favorite Advice from my Dad:

Favorite Self Promotion:

Favorite Song I wrote:

Favorite Fulfilled Promise

Favorite Winter Activity

Favorite Advice on Life

Favorite Bible Verses:

Favorite Movie Quotes:

E-Mail Me

How I Control the Weather:
  1. If I get a kite out on a windy day, the wind stops blowing.
  2. It rains the day I wash my car.
  3. It rains the day after I water the garden.
  4. It rains the one day all June that I have an outdoor Birthday party for my son.
  5. The rain holds off all day until 6:30, when my softball game is scheduled.
  6. It rains exactly when I have played enough golf that I can't get a rain check, but hard enough that I can't continue playing.
  7. It is always 30 degrees colder than for what I dress.  (See picture below)
  8. There is beautiful weather for two straight weeks until I go away for the weekend to play golf and see Penn State play Ohio State.
I took this picture on a day I had decided to go for a walk and pick raspberries.