Survivor Satire

The Fusion of Reality Television and Offensive Sarcasm

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Marital Advice:

If you want a   l  o  n  g   healthy marriage, you need to avoid fighting.  The following is a list of practical ways to avoid fights.   These are based on my own experiences, so I know they are all gems.

  1. Don't book a get away golf weekend the same day you complain about the exorbitant amount of money your wife wastes on groceries and utilities.
  2. Don't take a picture of your wife with curlers in her hair.
  3. Don't get caught with the Victoria Secret catalog.
  4. Women marry men and hope they will change, but they don't.  Men marry women and hope they will never change, but they do.  This isn't an original thought of mine, but I really like it.  My advice is to accept this reality.
  5. Go to a Hallmark store and buy 12 romantic cards. (no need to read them)  Give one card each month to your spouse.  If you come to the end of the year and you still have 12 cards because you forgot to give one every month, consider yourself lucky.  You won't have to go to the card store again.  Try to remember this time.
  6. Pornography is not a romantic movie.
  7. Don't make lists about marital advice, or at least don't show your wife the list.
Follow my advice, and this could be you. I mean the person taking the picture!